My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness (4 points)

 I read this a while ago in highschool when it came out. I remember liking it quite a bit, but I don't have a great memory so I wanted to try rereading it. I thought it was good, but I definitely think it resonated with me more back then. Though I think a lot of the stuff Nagata deals with in this is pretty relatable. Like the vague desire to be accepted unconditionally, but not knowing how or not having the social skills to make any realistic or tangible steps towards that desire. I’ve definitely felt this before, I think most humans do to some extent. Like she goes to work at a family mart, expecting it to be like a family, but of course it isn’t like that. She also has this insecure and imagined desire of wanting to live up to her parent’s expectations. I've definitely felt this at times, and just a desire to please people I admired in general. I think that sort of thing is just inevitable when you’re wildly insecure and desperate for the unconditional acceptance that was talked about earlier. This people pleasing is done to the detriment of her own self image, desires, and goals like being a mangaka. She constantly puts herself down, and even punishes herself by not eating. I think the manga encapsulates how it feels when you're isolated and caught up in your own misery, and struggling to get out of it with a lack of self acceptance or knowledge/ reflection of why you even feel the things you do. A manga I read around the same time was Oyasumi PunPun, along with other works by Inio Asano. I think he also encapsulates this feeling of loneliness and desperation, especially the earlier years of PunPun's childhood to teens.

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